Wednesday, July 19, 2017

C.P.R.

gray circles and a beard like an s.o.s. pad
come to me
kisses like drinking
a cool glass of water on a sticky morning
I am quenched by this
and scared
but he's strong and real
and knows
which way is up
so He soothes me
when I get shaky.

While I've been jumping around
he's been waiting
and then I showed up
& he takes me

After a dimly lit period...It arrives

Something intervened
not sure how
but it's moments like these
that more room for believing is made

He looks tired and beat
and I like it
he sweats and I've heard him vomit
didn't sway it
I don't understand it
because it needs no analysis
this feels like
this time it might
be it

Sunday, July 16, 2017

stay back

no one reacts correctly with me and my
bad attitude
no one can do right with my
aching chest
no one can soothe me and my
sticky vision

just you try
let me watch you
and impale you
make you run away
so I can sigh
and sit back in
the comfort
of lonely

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Material Goals

I feel lazy and crippled
it feels hopeless
How the fuck am I going to support myself?
How will I ever have a life?
What is my problem?

I don't want to live here anymore
but then I check out the listings
and realize
here is better than there

Don't put your opinions
in my head like
plankboard nails

All of my dreams have just become
material things

I only dream of nice spaces
clean corners
nice things
liking my appearance
bullshit things


Friday, July 14, 2017

over

i'm not beautiful or interesting
it's over
i'm not special or sexy
i'm empty
there's no meaning to anything
i can't make sense of life
a voice in the void
i need new meds
i am a mess

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

forever wound

scars have sealed over raw flesh
they didn't care if I was ready
to suffocate
and now I can feel
the stretched lid
cupped over a volcano

Screaming out
a constant pressure, corked
Waiting

the time is coming to feel it

Sunday, July 9, 2017

Trying to Look for Something New

I think I will quit
I think I am cracking up
and want to exit pre-meltdown
But I don't want to dangle helpless
over a fissure of emptiness either
frozen in time

I must find a replacement
prior to flight
I must get some insurance
but the process bores me to blindness
I can't see straight when I start to look
for something new

Balls.